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I thought I was sick of fighting, but really I was sick of surrender. Oh, it felt like fighting. But what was really happening was I was being attacked and pushed down and it was a struggle just to keep going. Just because you’re in a battle doesn’t mean you’re fighting. I was passive, just trying to cope with each day and letting myself get beaten down again and again. But fighting is so much more than getting through the trials. Fighting is not allowing you feelings to push you down, fighting is doing everything you feel you can’t do, fighting is believing in the face of impossible situations, fighting is being unshakable and not having your day ruined by circumstance.

I didn’t realise there is no choice. I am either fighting or surrendering. And surrender isn’t even an option. So now I am fighting to become a fighter, fighting to overcome my feelings and weakness, fighting to believe, fighting to overcome, fighting to step out in faith, fighting to be who I really am, fighting to live the life Christ has bought for me.